Chapter 55
In the morning, after giving his police statement, Sam took a quiet walk to clear his head. Well, that wasn’t going to happen, he assumed. His head was way too busy circling the same problem over and over.
He’d be letting everybody down by leaping, wouldn’t he? He wouldn’t see his Mom, or Katie. He wouldn’t be around to watch Addison come of age. All these things that his older self had told him were wonderful and worthwhile, and yet still he’d insisted that leaping was a more valuable option than that life.
And now everyone knew about it. What must they think of him now, that he’d be thinking seriously about abandoning them all again?
Donna had given him the cold shoulder since they woke up. He was more than happy to give her space, but she still hadn’t given him her opinion on the matter, and it was turning his stomach to think about. She had been the one to suggest he take this walk—maybe she just didn’t want to look at him any longer.
Well, he decided, he needed her thoughts. He headed back to the house, aiming to plead with her to talk to him. But as he approached, he noticed that Tom’s SUV was gone, and the house was empty.
A note sat on the coffee table, scrawled in Donna’s handwriting: “Went out for a while. Don’t know how long.”
She went out with Tom?
Perplexed, Sam collapsed onto the couch. Did neither of them want to be around him now? What could he do to make it up to them?
Don’t leap, he thought. This is a sign.
After a little while, his moping was interrupted by the phone ringing, and he forced himself off the couch to answer.
“Hello?” Please be Donna.
“Uh, good morning Doctor Beckett,” Gooshie said cheerfully.
“Hi Gooshie,” Sam said through a sigh. “What can I do for you?”
“Well, Ziggy’s requested that you come in ASAP for some paperwork.”
Sam rubbed his eyes. “Can it wait a bit? Like, until tomorrow? I’m not having the best day, and—”
“She, uh—she said it’s urgent. Sorry. Please come in as soon as you can.”
Sam let out a long, groaning breath. “Yeah, okay. Thanks, Gooshie. I’ll be there soon.”
Grabbing Donna’s car keys from the hook near the door, he reluctantly made for the Project complex.
* * *
As the elevator descended, Sam leaned against the wall, crossing his arms, wondering what the hell paperwork could be this urgent.
And did Gooshie ever have a day off? He was working on a Sunday. Did he have a life other than the Project? Sam figured he’d better make sure the programmer wouldn’t be completely rudderless when the Project was shut down.
Yeah, he supposed there was a lot for him to do. Maybe leaping was just some way of avoiding his responsibilities. It was hard, and it was dangerous, but it was… simple, in a way. No filling out tax returns or calling a plumber or keeping track of monthly schedules. No maintaining long term relationships. He could be single-minded about the job he had to do. Always it was other people who had to pick up the pieces when he was gone.
And boy, there were a lot of pieces of his own life he was now carrying and trying to put back together. And he was fumbling them big time. If Donna would just let him talk to her…
The elevator doors finally drew open, and he stepped into the corridor, turning towards his office.
“Doctor Beckett,” Ziggy’s voice boomed from above. “Please proceed to the Control Room.”
“The paperwork is in the Control Room?” Sam turned on his heel, frowning as he headed back in the other direction.
As he rounded the corner to the dark Control Room, everything lit up, and Sam was startled to see a crowd of people waiting for him inside.
“Surprise!” they all exclaimed.
“What…”
Donna, Al, Gooshie, Tina and Verbena stood by the main console, but there were more people.
Sammy Jo stood to one side with Addison and Janis, who was in turn beside Beth.
But Tom wasn’t here?
Hanging from the ceiling was a long chain of connected dot-matrix printer paper, with letters printed in ASCII symbols, spelling out: “Welcome Home and/or Bon Voyage, Sam.”
“Is this… a surprise party?”
“Well, we did just shout ‘surprise,’” Al said, elbowing Donna in the side with a grin. “The genius dummy strikes again, huh?”
Donna stepped up to Sam, taking him by his hands.
“We’ve all been talking,” she said, “and well, we all decided that whatever you choose, we’re behind you.”
“Even us,” Tom’s voice came from behind, and Sam turned to find his brother standing next to his sister and mother.
“Mom? Katie?” Sam choked.
“Surprise, Sam,” Katie said with a grin. “Tom booked us flights from Honolulu yesterday.”
“I was saving it as a surprise,” Tom said, “so I guess now’s a good time.”
Sam snatched up his family into a tight hug. “Oh my God, thank you, Tom.”
“Tom filled us in on what you’ve been doing,” Katie said from over his shoulder. “It was pretty hard to believe, but then we saw this joint, and well—this sure is some technology you’ve got here.”
“I don’t understand a lick of it,” Thelma Beckett admitted, “but it sounds like you’ve been doing mighty good things these past eight years. If only your Dad could see you now.”
Brushing stray tears from his eyes, Sam turned back to his friends. “I… I don’t know what to say.”
“Just enjoy everyone’s company,” Donna said, leading him further into the room. “And whether you decide to come home, or step in the Accelerator at the end of the day, that’ll be your decision. We don’t want to pressure you one way or the other.”
Sam hugged each person around him one at a time, not truly comprehending how or why they all had seemed to come to this collective conclusion. But he definitely had to admit that it was a load off his mind.
Finally, Tom and Al pulled him aside.
“Sam, this was all Tom’s idea,” Al said, nudging his fellow Navy man.
“Yours?” Sam raised his eyebrows. “Really?”
Tom nodded. “When I saw you doing your thing last night, I realised that maybe you have… you know… some kind of higher purpose.”
“Which is, as you and I both know by now,” Al added, “the straight up truth.”
“It’s like being deployed, right?” Tom continued. “You leave your loved ones, your comfort zone, and you fight the good fight.”
“Only yours isn’t dictated by some stuffed shirts in Washington,” Al interjected.
“Right,” Tom said, “but the point is, it’s not like you’d be going AWOL like I insinuated last night. In fact, that’s why I suggested all this. So, if you decide this is what you need to do, you can clear your conscience and get the proper goodbyes you deserve.”
Sam smiled. “Like when you came home for Thanksgiving before shipping out.”
“Now you’re getting it.”
Sam looked down at the floor. “Thank you—both of you.” He peered up through blurred eyes. “Because I think, deep down, I was just waiting for everyone to say it was okay.”
“So you’re gonna do it, huh?” Al asked, hiding his sadness with a weak, but warm, smile.
“I… I’ve got a lot of work left to do,” Sam said, nodding. “So yes. I’m gonna leap.”
“Well then, let’s give you a send-off to remember,” Al announced loudly. “DJ Ziggy, hit it!”
The lights dimmed, and music filled the room. Sam chuckled, blushing as he recognised Peggy Sue.
He felt a small hand grab his, and found himself being pulled by Addison towards Sammy Jo.
“Hey Gramps, Mom’s got stuff to say,” she said. “And so do I, but I think she gets first dibs.”
Sammy Jo looked up at Sam bashfully. “Hi Dad,” she said quietly.
Sam felt his heart breaking. “Sammy Jo, I—I’m sorry I let you down. I said I was going to stick around, didn’t I?”
“Your exact words, I believe, were ‘I look forward to spending the rest of my life making it up to you all.’”
Sam winced at his own words. “That photographic memory, huh?”
Sammy Jo sighed. “As hard as it is to see you leave now, after all that’s happened in the last few days, I…” She squeezed his hand. “I understand now that it wasn’t my failures that prevented you from coming home before. And… that means a lot.”
Sam took her by the shoulders. “Sammy Jo, I will never, ever stop loving you, and being proud of everything you’ve accomplished. You’re amazing, and you’re so, so smart. And some day—though I don’t know when—your retrievals will bring me home again. I’m counting on it.”
Sammy Jo wrapped her arms around him. “Thanks, Daddy.”
“And hey…” Sam continued. “If you ever need anything, you’ve got Donna, and Al, and Tom, and Mom, and Katie.”
Sammy Jo smiled. “Yeah. I never knew I had so much family.”
“And neither did I,” Addison cut in. “Oh, by the way. I think Janis and I are gonna get along.” She grinned at the fellow teen across the room, waving. “It’s kind of a thrill to share such a crazy secret with somebody. I bet we’ll get up to all kinds of no good.”
Sam laughed. “I hope you do.”
Having been summoned, Janis approached the group.
“So you’re leaping again?” she asked Sam. “Jeez, I didn’t get much time to say ‘hi,’ did I?”
“Sorry, Janis. How are you feeling, by the way?”
“Well, my hangover was a bitch,” she moaned. “Which would have been fine if I’d been the one to cause it. Thanks a lot, future guy.” She snorted. “But anyway, I’m fine now. Just a little weirded out by the whole thing.”
“I’m glad to hear that. Is Kat doing okay?”
“Yeah. She apologised to me about a hundred times. I assume she has a reason to, but I don’t know what it is.”
“I’ll explain that one later,” Addison said, sharing a sheepish look with Sam.
“Hey, Uncle Sam…” Janis added. “I just wanna thank you. Not just for saving me from those nutjobs, but that was pretty dope too. I mean, thanks for coming back and talking to Dad. He was getting a little crazy not knowing what happened to you, and I felt really guilty that I knew and couldn’t tell him.”
“I’m sorry I put that on you, Janis.”
“Bygones, I guess.” Janis shrugged. “At least now we all know this is your choice. That’s made all the difference.”
“Yeah…” Sam smiled. “I guess you’re right.”
It wasn’t long before Sam was being pulled in another direction by Tina, who brought him to Gooshie and Verbena.
“Sam, I’m sorry that Ziggy managed to overhear our private consultation,” Verbena said, looking up at Ziggy’s orb with a scowl. “But I can tell you that it seems everyone knowing the truth turned out to be a good thing in the end.”
Sam rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, it sure looks that way.”
“Doctor B, we’re all rootin’ for ya,” Tina said, kissing him on the cheek. “Just wish we could keep track of your leaps again, but the Project is still gettin’ canned.”
“Do you have anything lined up for after this?” Sam asked, looking between all three of them. “I can write letters of recommendation—”
“We already have generous job offers from both Apple and Microsoft,” Gooshie explained. “The thing is, I want to go to Microsoft and Tina wants to go to Apple. I think that could be a conflict of interest for a married couple.”
“You two are married?”
They nodded, each holding up their hands to display their matching rings.
“We got hitched last year,” Tina said. “And there may be a baby on the horizon, once we settle into our jobs at Apple.”
“Microsoft,” Gooshie corrected.
Sam chuckled, not knowing exactly how or why he recalled them being married before.
“Well, whether Apple or Microsoft or both, I wish you both the best,” Sam said, hugging them. “And you, Verbena?”
“Oh, don’t worry about me, Sam,” she said. “My line of work is never without demand. But it’ll never be quite so demanding as this place used to be, that’s for sure.”
“You’re an unsung hero, Verbena,” Sam said, patting a hand on her upper arm. “Thank you. All of you. None of this would have been possible without your hard work.”
“Awright, you’ve buttered us up enough, Doctor B,” Tina laughed.
As the party went on, Sam found himself leaning against the console, staring up at the sphere in the ceiling. So this was it. One last hurrah.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Donna asked as she sidled up to him.
“I was wondering how I could be this lucky,” Sam confessed. “I honestly expected at least you to beg me to stay.”
“I did that last time, remember?” Donna flipped her hair back. “But since then I’ve come to realise that as much as I love and need you, that people out there need you more. It hurts that you’re leaving me again, Sam—it does, but we already worked out our arrangement a year ago, didn’t we?”
Sam nodded. “Yeah, I guess we did.” He leaned over, kissing her gently. “That bank account…”
“Should do me just fine, even though you halved it in the space of one day,” she said with an amused grin. “I’d been thinking of moving somewhere warm, by the ocean.”
“Sounds wonderful.”
“I expect you to keep in touch using that secure server.”
“Of course I will.” Sam looked over to Janis. “That’s a promise.”
“And what about me?” Al asked, approaching the console. “You gonna stay in touch with your best pal too?”
“Yes, you’d better,” Beth added, flanking them. “We don’t want Al going out of his mind again, do we?”
Sam pursed his lips, slowly nodding. “Okay. Tell Janis I said to give you access too. But remember: it’s secured for a reason.”
“Right, ’cause of Lothos,” Al said. “Well, we just need to finagle some security protocols. No sweat.”
It was then, as Sam felt the collective love and support of the people around him, that he felt the same feeling of being pulled he would when he was about to leap, and he knew that it was time.
And so, he changed into a Fermi suit, and said his final goodbyes to everybody.
“Ahem,” came Ziggy’s voice. “Aren’t you forgetting someone?”
Sam looked up at the orb. “You know I wouldn’t leave without saying goodbye to you, Ziggy.”
“Well I’d like to say I’ll miss you, Doctor Beckett,” she said in her cold, nonchalant manner, “but I’m being deactivated tomorrow, so I won’t get the chance.”
“In that case, I’ll do the missing for us both,” Sam said, patting a hand on the console like it was a pet. “Goodbye, Ziggy.”
“Goodbye, Doctor Beckett.”
The sound system, then, began to play The Impossible Dream.
Sam gave Donna a final kiss, and Al one last hug.
“I love you… both of you,” he said to them, before ascending the ramp and waving to the sea of faces, each looking up at him with bittersweet smiles.
“I’ll be back some day,” he promised. “So this goodbye is not forever.”
And so, surrounded by his loved ones wishing him well, Doctor Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap Accelerator and vanished.