Chapter 22
In 2023, Sam Beckett sat alone in his office, silently mulling over the predicament he’d hoped wouldn’t come to pass for twenty long years.
His thoughts would often dwell upon what could have been. The other Sam, the one from before… he had certainly had his regrets, but on the other hand, he couldn’t help but wonder what wrongs he had failed to put right by returning home. He didn’t want to think about it, but his mind just tended to drift to it when he was alone with his thoughts.
And now, it seemed, the chickens were coming home to roost. Now that the timelines had converged, it seemed it was time to face the music.
Not that he’d seen it coming; not the issue with Addison’s memory. He thought Ben might have remembered, with his memory filling in over time, just as his own had when he’d returned home. Memories of Tom coming home from Vietnam. Of Al’s life with Beth. And his marriage to Donna, of course.
The things he’d changed slotted themselves into his memories retroactively, eventually causing the previous ones to fade to a faint recollection. Where once there had been the pain of losing Tom, now that feeling was replaced with happy memories of his marriage, his kids, his long career in the Navy. Birthdays, Christmases, Thanksgivings. The knowledge that he’d once died was now merely a fact Sam knew, rather than a deep set trauma.
But the strange, extra-temporal circumstances of Sam’s homecoming had brought about something new. Something… wrong.
Sam rubbed his eyes. What was he to do about this? He hadn’t lived the life of his previous counterpart, and he didn’t remember any of what the other Sam had known prior to Ben’s change. He had lived twenty years since even speaking to him. Twenty years diverged from the old timeline’s Sam…
After Addison’s panic attack, Sam had briefly connected to the Imaging Chamber and observed his former self in the halls of Project Quantum Leap. He hadn’t been game to actually reveal himself, but Sam now distinctly recalled sensing his future self’s presence, a memory which had inserted itself into his brain as he disconnected from the hologram. Even after all this time, such memory alterations gave him the willies.
A knock on his door brought him out of his rumination, and he peered up through the glass to see Ian waving at him from the other side. He motioned for them to enter, and the door swung open.
“Hey boss,” they said, closing the door. “I was just wondering what was going on with Addison, and she told me to come and ask you.”
“Ah. Well…” Sam returned to his seat, slumping down into it. “It’s a long story, and it all started the day I arrived home from my leaps. Did anyone ever tell you how it happened?”
Ian shook their head. “The Becketts and Calaviccis keep all the secrets around here. I’m just the Ziggy whisperer.”
Sam nodded grimly. “Well, I guess the cat’s out of the bag now.” He looked up at them, licking his lips. “Ben dragged me home when he met me in a leap. And it technically only just happened, as far as he and Addison are concerned.”
Ian stared blankly at him for a few seconds, before their jaw abruptly dropped. “Oh my god. Retroactive timeline memory alteration!” They slapped a palm to their forehead. “Sheesh! It’s the basketball game all over again!”
“Basketball game?”
“The one where Ben—you know what, don’t worry about it. Point is, I understand. I think. But what does that have to do with Addison?”
“Well, her memory didn’t update, and I suspect it’s my fault. Well, not me me. The other timeline me. Because he’d been leapt into Addison at the time Ben did what he did.”
“You were Addison?!” Ian’s eyebrows shot up. “Wait, so there was a you in the present, and another you with Ben in the past…”
Sam huffed. “Yes. It’s a quantum headache and Addison’s paying the price.”
Ian shook their head. “Poor Addison. Do you know what the old timeline was like? How much does Addison not remember?”
Sam frowned. “Well, she seems to know the Project, and she knows Ben. She knows you, too. But she only knew me as the old leaper that never came home.”
“Heavy,” Ian said under their breath. “Is there anything we can do for her?”
Sam heaved a sigh, cradling his chin in his hands. “That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out, Ian. But I keep running into dead ends.”
A moment of silence passed, as Ian inspected their outfit in the glass wall of the office. “I hope I’m just as stylish as I was in the old timeline,” they mumbled, before turning to Sam. “Do you think my jacket is too beige?”
Sam smirked at the abrupt change in topic. “Al wouldn’t have been caught dead in that colour,” he mused, “but it suits you just fine.”
Ian grinned. “We can’t all be the fashion icon he was, but I try.” They placed a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “We’re a team of brainiacs, Sam. If anybody can figure this out, it’s us.”
Sam smiled. “Thanks, Ian.”
“And hey, you’re not the only one who’s had a future version of yourself affect the past and erase themselves from existence.” Ian snorted. “God, working here is like a big ol’ mushroom trip, right?”
Hmm? Sam looked up at Ian, squinting. “Wait, what did you just say?”
Ian took a defensive step back. “Uh, nothing boss. I certainly don’t take psychoactive—”
Sam chuckled, shaking his head. “Oh, forget the CYA, Ian. I don’t care about that. I was just thinking about… uh, magic mushrooms.”
Ian raised an eyebrow. “What about them?”
Sam looked away, to a photograph of Al and his family in a frame on his desk. He picked it up, looking at the teenage Janis in the picture.
I could forever wonder about the old timeline, he thought. I could lie on my death bed thinking about the people I could have helped. The blank faces of the people from all the leaps unleaped. If I don’t know who they are, how can I regret not helping them?
But...
He stood up, taking Ian by the shoulders. “This is gonna sound completely insane coming from me, but… if I asked you to bring me some—oh, what was it? Psilocybe cubensis?—would you do it?”
Ian gaped at him for a long moment.
“Ian. Please.”
“W-why?” they squeaked.
Sam looked bashfully away from Ian’s bewildered face. “Because a long time ago, Janis had a mushroom trip that showed her another timeline.” He gave Ian a sheepish look. “I want to see if… that wasn’t a freak occurrence.”
Ian’s eyes widened. “You think…”
“I have a lot of questions about the life I didn’t lead. I’d just like to… find out what I missed. If I can.”
Ian’s shocked expression softened, and slowly turned mischievous.
“Well, I can’t possibly turn you down on this one, boss. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” They laughed. “I can have the shrooms to you by six tonight. I’ll be your sitter—my place or yours?”
Sam felt heat rise in his cheeks as the reality of the matter dawned on him. “Uh… better make it yours. Somehow, I don’t think Donna will want to be party to this.”
* * *
Donna… I’m here, Sam thought, as Al pulled up to the small suburban bungalow where she apparently resided.
The car had barely come to a complete stop when Sam burst out of it, leaving Al and Sammy Jo in his wake. He pounded on the door.
“Donna?” he called out.
After a moment, the door slowly opened, and Donna’s teary-eyed face poked out, meeting Sam’s gaze with a heavy breath. A delicate hand emerged from behind the door, and she placed it gently on his face.
“Al told me you were back, but I didn’t believe it,” she said breathlessly. “Not until now.”
“I’m home, Donna,” Sam murmured, his voice wavering. “I kept my promise.”
Donna pulled him into a hug. “Thank you, Sam. I knew you were a man of your word.”
Sam reasoned that now was not the time to tell her that if it hadn’t been for Ben, he would not have kept that promise.
Instead, he brought his lips to hers, kissing her deeply, as Al and Sammy Jo approached from behind. After a moment of passionate greetings, the sound of a gruff throat clearing cut through the magical moment.
“Far be it for me to break up this matrimonial mouth-to-mouth,” Al said, “but aren’t you gonna invite us in?” He waved a hand at Sammy Jo. “And I think you might have a bit of catching up to do with the newest addition to the Beckett family, huh?”
Sam pried himself away from Donna for long enough to nod and smile. “Yeah. Let’s head in and have some tea or something and… we can figure out where things go from here.”