A Sliders Fan Script
by Ashe P. Kirk
Episode 5 of my "Season 6 in the 2020s" series
Completed: 1 August 2022
Quinn
I'm sorry Remy, she's not the Wade you knew.
Diana
You deserve a bit of normalcy after what you've been through.
[People staring at Rembrandt]
Rembrandt
Not sure "normal" is quite the word.
Quinn
Sorry Ma. You're... not the only Mom I need to see.
Missus Mallory
Because you're two Quinns.
Rembrandt
Are you saying Colin's been runnin' around behind the scenes, giving us all these lucky breaks lately?
Colin
It's good to finally see you, brother. --
I have to work quickly to get anything down my oesophagus. Once it's in there, it shifts with me, but until then...
[Bag of chips vanishes]
Cole
You can't ever slow down, can you?
Colin
Not for twenty years.
Quinn
Our best bet would be to figure out some way to draw Colin to one of our home worlds, and stabilise him there.
[The vial of Colin's blood is placed in the magnetic field]
Quinn
A vial of blood?
Diana
We know now it carries his quantum signature. --
What do you want me to say? I failed you? Yes, I did, okay? --
I'm a screw-up.
Colin
You've already done more for me today than you did in decades. Is it mere coincidence that it's been less than a day since you met my brother in the flesh? --
You're not forgiven, by the way. Not yet.
Cole stands at the door to Missus Mallory's hospital room, beside Quinn who is off to the side.
Cole
We need to finesse this surprise, because she's frail. Who knows how she'll react to seeing you.
Quinn smirks.
Quinn
Alright, I'll follow your lead.
Cole
Good. Stay here until I give the signal.
Cole opens the door, knocking on it as she peeks in.
On the other side of the door, we see Cole.
Cole
Hey Grandma!
Missus Mallory Prime is seated by the window, on her sofa seat. She whips her head around and smiles at Cole warmly.
Missus Mallory
Cole! You should have told me you were coming, I would have showered.
She raises from her seat, with some difficulty.
Cole
(gesturing)
No no, don't get up. I have a surprise and you'll want to be sitting down, okay?
Missus Mallory
(sitting down)
A surprise? Your visit is surprise enough.
Cole
Oh, you're gonna forget all about that in a hot second.
(towards door)
Okay!
On Missus Mallory's face as she sees her son's face for the first time in decades - and all the emotion that comes with it.
Quinn
Hi, Ma.
Missus Mallory is speechless.
Quinn rushes to her and gives her a hug, sitting on the sofa with her.
Cole
Told ya!
Missus Mallory
When did this happen? How?
Quinn and Cole exchange glances.
Quinn & Cole (Simultaneously)
Long story / It's complicated.
Rembrandt, Maggie, and Mallory are clothed in swimsuits, in repose on poolside recliners. Each has a cocktail and are taking in some sun.
Rembrandt
Now this is what fame and fortune's all about.
Mallory
A private pool and bottomless cocktails? Yeah, it's quite the perk.
Maggie
Guess we take it for granted these days. But after seeing your Earth, I guess we should count our blessings.
Rembrandt
I mean there was no shortage of privacy there, what with the lack of people. But there was always the loomin' clouds of despair, and the regret.
Mallory
Speaking of which, how are you doing, man?
Rembrandt
I haven't been happy in a long time, you know? But at least now the questions I had about what happened to y'all are answered.
(sadder)
Still, it hurts to see Wade, after everything. Knowing that it's her face and her personality, but none of the connection.
And the way people stare at me out in the world, it unnerves me. I only feel safe in this house.
A moment of silence is broken by the sound of a camera clicking.
Maggie
Oh crap, it's the paparazzi.
She jumps up, looking around the trees. She spots a photographer harnessed to a branch, aiming a telescopic lens DSLR.
Maggie
(shouting)
Vulture!
She reaches under her seat, pulling out a paintball gun.
She points it at the guy, and takes a perfectly aimed shot, which splatters paint all over the camera - and possibly damages it in the process.
The photographer recoils, but the harness keeps him in place.
Maggie
Better luck next time, jerk!
(back to normal volume, at Mallory)
Guess they know about Remy.
Rembrandt cringes.
Rembrandt
I think I'm gonna go back inside.
He grabs his things, and heads for the house.
Wade reclines on the modular sofa, watching "The Sliders" on the enormous TV.
Rembrandt wanders in from the courtyard, and glances at the television.
A cheesy, early millennium 4:3 aspect show with hammy acting and soft, soap opera lighting.
On the TV, an obviously cheap set containing a bed where an actor playing Wade lies, with an actor playing Quinn kneeling beside her:
Actor Playing Wade
Quinn, before I die of this deadly fever, I need to tell you... I love you!
Actor Playing Quinn
Oh Wade, I love you too. I'd kiss you right now, but... you know.
Wade stares at the television, unable to contain her embarrassment. She pauses it, and looks at Rembrandt.
Wade
Hey Mister Cryin' Man, you watched any of this show yet? I may actually pass away from second hand embarrassment.
Rembrandt avoids eye contact with her.
Rembrandt
No, and now I'm glad I haven't. It didn't happen like that!
Wade
Oh, I could have guessed.
(beat, more serious tone)
I've noticed... you've been avoiding eye contact with me since I met you.
Rembrandt
(still avoiding eye contact)
Yeah, I guess I have.
Wade
Listen, I heard about what happened to the other Wade, and I'm so sorry.
Rembrandt
(looking anywhere but at her)
It was hard. And I thought I'd moved past it, 'til you showed up, and now when I look at you, my mind just throws up pictures of the other Wade floatin' there in the tank.
Wade
What happened to her was unconscionable. I'm so sorry you had to see her like that.
Rembrandt
The two of us, we kinda had a special dynamic, you know? Q-ball and the Professor were always talkin' their intellectual mumbo jumbo, and we were the two regular people followin' our hearts.
And Maggie, well, she warmed up after a while, but she was still a soldier. She could put her feelings aside like changing hats when the time came. Me and Wade, we were emotional support, for each other, but also for the team as a whole. We were a gut check.
His voice breaks up too much to continue.
Wade holds his hand tightly.
Wade
What does your gut say now?
Rembrandt meets her eye for a split second, before wrenching it away again.
Rembrandt
It's saying to leave this room and hide.
Wade
It's that bad, huh?
Rembrandt
What?
Wade
Your PTSD.
Rembrandt
Yeah, I guess that's what it is.
Wade
So all the R and R here isn't helping at all?
Rembrandt
Only a little.
(thoughtful)
Thing is, every time I go out of this house there's someone gawkin' at me. I know I used to want that kind of fame, but...
Wade
That sounds rough.
Listen, what if you were on a world where nobody was staring at you. Would that help?
Rembrandt
You mean back on your homeworld?
Wade nods.
Wade
Yeah, maybe you can take a vacation in obscurity there.
Rembrandt mulls this over.
Rembrandt
Yeah, why the heck not?
Wade
Great! Quinn's scheduled to go there tomorrow to help out Arturo and Diana with their work. We can go with them.
(beat)
I heard your Wade published her diaries on my world, thought I'd check it out. Gotta be more authentic than this cheesefest.
She gestures to the TV with the remote, unpausing it.
On TV:
Actor Playing Rembrandt
(entering the frame)
The Professor made us some mould juice he says is the cure.
Actor Playing Wade
Save yourselves, I'm already dead!
Watching this, Rembrandt's uneasy smile fades to a frown.
Mallory, in boxers, gets into bed, with Maggie already there, scrolling on her phone. She wears a satin night gown.
Mallory
It's nice havin' the whole gang together, working to find Colin, huh?
Maggie
(not looking up)
Yeah, it's been a crazy week and a bit. Lot's happened.
Mallory
(clumsy flirtation)
You know, there's finally no third party in my head to watch us get up to no good.
Maggie looks at him, unimpressed.
Maggie
(sarcastic)
Well when you put it like that, how can I possibly resist?
She goes back to looking at her phone.
Maggie
Another night, babe.
She flicks off her lamp.
Mallory looks positively wounded, there in the dark illuminated by a weak shaft of moonlight.
Once again, Professor Arturo is standing, ready to open the gateway back to the world he now calls home.
Ready to depart are Wade, Quinn, and Rembrandt. Cole stands back with Mallory and Maggie, seeing off their friends.
Arturo
My apologies for the short visit, but Colin's blood won't be fresh forever.
Maggie
Not a problem, Professor.
Cole
(sulky)
I wish I could come, but I'm stuck here writing papers.
(brightening up)
But thanks to you guys I'm a shoo-in for a high grade.
Arturo opens the vortex.
Remy hugs Maggie, shakes Mallory's hand, and nods towards Cole, who he really doesn't know at all.
Then he enters the vortex.
Wade waves as she enters.
Arturo gives a resolute nod to the room, and enters too.
Quinn gives Maggie a hug, and then grips Mallory's hand in a "bros for life" gesture.
Quinn
When next we meet, maybe Colin'll be with me.
Maggie grins.
Maggie
I hope so.
(beat)
If you ever need us, just drop in any time.
Quinn nods, and runs for the vortex. And he's gone.
The sliders gather as the wormhole closes behind them. Diana's there, waiting.
Diana
Oh, hey Rembrandt! What brings you here?
Wade
He's on vacation from the public eye.
Rembrandt
Yeah. Thought a little anonymity might calm my nerves. Things are getting a bit intense over there.
Diana
I get it. When we went out for dinner that night, you were edgy about all the attention. This might do you some good.
Wade
As for me, I'm here to see the other Wade's diary. I want to know more about her. Just to compare notes.
She looks Quinn in the eye.
Arturo
Of course, I've got a copy on the top shelf of the living room bookcase.
Wade
(still looking at Quinn)
Thanks.
She peels herself away and heads up the stairs.
Diana
I sensed some tension there.
Quinn
I think she wants to share in some of the memories I have with that Wade. Understand my relationship with her better.
Rembrandt
That, or read about the competition.
Remy pats Quinn on the back, and heads upstairs himself.
Diana
Well, we've got work to do.
Quinn
(taking a seat)
Can't wait.
Wade sits on the couch, reading voraciously. Missus Mallory sits across from her, doing a crossword.
Missus Mallory
I know you just want to understand him better, but he knows you're not the same Wade as the one you're reading about.
Wade
(looking up)
I know, I know. It's just... all the other sliders, they knew her. Rembrandt is so traumatised that he can't even look at me.
I just want to make sure I don't step on any toes. I have a responsibility not to tarnish her memory.
Missus Mallory nods with understanding.
Missus Mallory
You really are a kind person, aren't you?
Wade
I just try to make the world a better place than I found it, that's all.
Missus Mallory
There's nobody I'd want to marry Quinn more.
Wade
(touched)
That's so sweet. We're taking it slow, but, so far so good.
Missus Mallory
(thoughtful)
I hope the other me lives long enough to hear wedding bells.
Wade
(dawning concern)
I'll keep that in mind.
Rembrandt lies on the grass, as the sun warms his face. Next to him is a takeout burger and fries, which he grazes on.
He's peaceful. Nobody pays him any mind.
Rembrandt
(under breath)
Never thought I'd be so happy to be washed up.
He leans back, and closes his eyes. A contented smile emerges on his face.
Quinn, Arturo, and Diana are disheveled and tired-looking. Quinn has stubble on his face. They've been hard at work for a while.
In front of Arturo, the communications device.
Diana is peering into a microscope, and looking away every so often to write something.
Quinn tinkers with the timer.
Missus Mallory enters from above, carrying a tray of sandwiches and tea.
Missus Mallory
Lunch time!
She places the tray on a free surface, and waits for anyone to make a move. None do - they're all too absorbed in what they're doing.
Missus Mallory
You have to eat. I don't want to throw out another tray of my hard work.
(exasperated)
This is what I get for marrying two scientists and giving birth to another.
(beat)
Eat when you have a minute, and don't let that tea go cold!
She turns to leave.
Quinn
(still absorbed in his work)
Thanks Ma, love ya.
She smiles, and heads back upstairs.
Missus Mallory sits herself down on the couch, next to Wade, who has long since finished reading the diaries.
Wade
How's it looking?
Missus Mallory
I don't know, they barely even acknowledge my existence when they're so caught up in their science.
(looking at Wade)
Will you make sure my boys are eating?
Wade shrugs.
Wade
What makes you think they'll notice me any more than they notice you at the moment?
(beat)
I'll see what I can do.
She heads off towards the basement, passing Rembrandt, who's entering the room.
Missus Mallory
Ah, Remy, how's the vacation coming along?
Rembrandt
(stretching)
It's been a good week. Can't say it fixed me or nothin', but it's a start. How's the work coming along?
Missus Mallory
Don't ask me. Those three are off in another world.
Rembrandt
(startled)
What, they slid? Where?
Missus Mallory
(chuckling)
No, no. Figure of speech.
Then, a muffled cry from the basement.
Arturo (O.S.)
Eureka!
Remy and Missus Mallory look to one another, excited, and head toward the basement.
Missus Mallory and Rembrandt hurry down the stairs. Wade watches the three scientists.
Arturo stands proudly before a monitor displaying the message:
Synchronization Complete.
Current location of target: 82.003.283.0191
Quinn sits by the food tray, mouth full of sandwich.
Diana stands grinning at the monitor.
Arturo
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm proud to announce we have cracked Colin's quantum signature, and we have a potential means to trans-dimensionally supplant his matter.
Wade applauds.
Wade
Woo!
I don't know what that means, but way to go!
Rembrandt
We're gonna need an English version o' that.
Quinn
(swallowing)
It means, in theory, that we should be able to get a lock on his location in space-time, slide to him, implant him with a chip that Diana developed, and that should allow us to intercept one of his shifts, bringing him into a stable magnetic field on one of our worlds.
Missus Mallory
(clueless)
Once again for the slow?
Diana
(grappling for an analogy)
You know how in schlock movies, how they draw a big pentagram on the floor and summon a demon into it and trap it there? Well, we should be able to do something like that with Colin.
But we need to get a hold of him first. Fortunately the blood I extracted carried exactly the right information we needed to track him down.
Missus Mallory
Thank you, I think I get it now.
Quinn
We're going to have to work quickly to catch him before he shifts.
Wade
Well what are we waiting for? Let's go!
Arturo looks at Quinn, then Diana.
Arturo
Well, I suppose now's as good a time as any. Let's wait for his next shift to maximise the time we have to reach him.
Quinn
I hope he's near where the portal opens...
Rembrandt
You said he had crazy powers, right? Maybe he already knows we're coming.
Wade
Only one way to find out! So who's coming?
Quinn
I definitely am.
Diana
I'm going to stay behind to monitor things on this end. You guys take the comms device. It should theoretically be working now to send messages in text.
She grabs it, and hands it to Quinn.
Arturo picks up a carry case.
Arturo
Allow me to accompany you, Mister Mallory. The chip is in here. I need to get it straight into his body before he shifts, so Diana suspended it in a saline syringe for me.
Quinn
Sure thing. As long as it's inside him, it should shift with him, like he said it worked with food.
Wade
I want to go too.
Arturo
It'll only be for an hour. Are you sure?
Wade nods vigorously.
Wade
I've always been a slider and I'm not ready to retire.
She glances at Remy.
Rembrandt
(as if someone's trying to convince him)
Ah, what the hey. Old time's sake.
Diana
Alright, if you insist.
(typing at a keyboard)
Okay, just rigging up the machine. Be ready for the next shift.
Arturo hands Quinn the timer. Quinn looks at the two devices he's been given, one in each hand, and passes the comms device to Remy, before using his newly freed hand to hold Wade's.
On the computer screen:
Current location of target: 82.003.283.0191
Then it changes abruptly.
Current location of target: 82.003.283.3467
Diana
We got a shift! Go now!
Quinn points the timer and opens the wormhole.
The group races into it, not a moment to spare.
The sliders pile against each other as they leave the vortex.
They are in the park - somehow, nobody saw them appear. But as the wormhole closes, the group catches sight of a woman with a sign coming into view, seeming to be doing a one-woman protest.
The sign says:
Tracking chips in vaccines
Mark of the Beast!!!
I will not bend my knee
to the Satanic globalists
Wade
Where is this? Conspiracy World?
Quinn
Seems like a pretty standard nutter.
Then, just as Rembrandt predicted, Colin emerges from between two trees.
Colin
(nodding in greeting)
Afternoon! I'm glad I managed to redirect you here.
Quinn takes off, and hugs his brother.
Colin
What brings you here? Have you worked out how to save me?
Quinn
Potentially. Come on, the Professor has a tracker injection for you.
Hearing this turn of phrase, the woman with the sign looks, narrow-eyed, at the brothers.
Colin
Oh, something subcutaneous? Good thinking.
Quinn
It was all Diana's idea. She's been a great help.
Colin smirks to himself at this.
They arrive at Arturo, who already has his case open, and is preparing the syringe.
The woman with the sign watches, eyes manic.
Arturo quickly injects the solution, and just as he pulls it out, he is tackled to the ground by the woman.
Colin jumps back, and, as if by instinct, shifts away.
Woman
Demon! You demon! I rebuke you in Jesus' name!
She spits into his face.
Rembrandt tries to pull her off him and she hisses at him like a feral cat.
Woman
(vitriolic)
Satan will not prevail. Jesus will destroy you and your New World Order!
I rebuke you! In Jesus' name Amen!
Wade
Oh god, we are on Conspiracy World.
Quinn
Not so fast...
Various passers-by, some clad in face masks, have come to Arturo's aid, restraining the woman and helping him up.
Woman
He injected that poison into someone! The vaccine! They were talking about tracking chips openly! He's working for the devil!
Man
Hey, shut the hell up! My mother died of Covid, you psycho!
Teenage Girl
(filming with her phone)
Shame on you, Karen!
Masked Businessman
You're the reason people keep dying! Screw you!
Arturo wipes his face with a handkerchief, and takes the hand of a 30-something woman, Felicity, who helps him up. She wears a face mask.
Felicity
You okay, sir? I can't believe that woman did that, that's so disgusting.
(leaning in)
If I were you I'd get a Covid test, 'cause that walking petri dish sure never would.
Arturo
Thank you for your help, my dear. Now... what is a Covid test?
Felicity looks at him, baffled.
Felicity
I'm sorry, I don't think I heard that right... could you repeat that?
Arturo
What is a Covid test?
Felicity
You're pulling my leg, right? Where have you actually been for the past couple years?
Quinn chuckles nervously, pulling him away.
Quinn
Okay Dad, leave the nice lady be.
(to Felicity)
Dad's not all there. Don't worry, I'll get him tested.
Felicity looks at Quinn with recognition, and then blushes.
Felicity
Oh my god, I'm sorry but is it okay if I get a selfie with you?
Quinn blinks.
Quinn
Uh... sure thing.
She pulls out her phone and they pose for the photo.
Felicity
Thanks a lot. Man this is going to be a wild story to tell. Thanks Mister O'Connell.
Felicity dashes off, leaving Quinn dumbfounded.
Wade
(wandering over)
What was that about?
Quinn
I dunno, but I have the feeling we should be finding some WiFi.
Arturo
(checking the timer)
We have fifty-four minutes until the slide back. Let's be quick about it.
Arturo, Quinn, and Wade sit together at a table. Rembrandt approaches them with a box of surgical masks, which he places on the table.
Rembrandt
Lots of people seem to be wearin' these, and if Q-ball's famous we might be better off with 'em.
Quinn grabs one, and moves to put it on.
Wade taps on her phone, sullen.
Wade
Okay, so this "Covid" thing is a global pandemic that started at the end of 2019 and spread to... everywhere. My god.
Arturo
(going white)
Pandemic...
Wade
(swallowing hard)
Over 6 million dead worldwide...
Remy and Quinn look at one another in alarm.
Wade
Over a million in the US alone...
Arturo stares off into the distance silently.
Wade
Spread by respiratory droplets.
Rembrandt looks in horror at Arturo.
Rembrandt
So if we slide now...
Quinn
We might be bringing back a deadly virus.
Wade
(still reading phone)
Risk of death increases with age and other health factors, especially lung conditions and diabetes.
Arturo
(taking a deep breath)
Given the risk factors, it may be prudent for me to remain on this Earth until I can be sure that I am clear of the virus.
You three can slide back and return for me after a quarantine period. I'll keep the communications device with me so we can stay in touch.
Wade
But couldn't we all be carrying this thing now? None of us can go back and introduce this thing to other worlds.
(looking at phone)
Says here that the incubation period is... one to fourteen days?! Oh man.
Quinn
Look, at least one of us needs to return, or we'll be stuck here for the rest of the Professor's life.
The Professor shoots him a look.
Arturo
Alright, quickly, send a message to Diana. Tell her she has half an hour to convert the basement into a quarantine station for three. And she must not only have no contact with you for two weeks at minimum, but also she must air seal the basement door. You'll have to get your air through the window.
Wade looks introspective for a moment.
Wade
Professor, if you get sick, who's going to take care of you?
(beat)
I'm staying.
Arturo
Now, there's no need for that.
Wade
Look, you saved my double's life from a horrible sickness once. I want to do that for you. I spent near twenty-five years caring for someone. Turns out I have a knack for it.
Quinn
If you're staying, so am I.
Arturo
No Quinn. I need a technical hand in case you need to work on the equipment in there. You must go back.
Rembrandt is silent. His gaze flickers to Wade and then down again just as quickly. He starts tapping the message to Diana into the comms device.
Wade
Go on. Remy and Quinn can go back, and we'll stay.
Arturo
Very well. It's settled.
Arturo dons a mask, and Wade follows suit.
Arturo
Let's go to the Dominion, Miss Welles.
He turns to Quinn and Rembrandt.
Arturo
Find somewhere discreet to Slide, and for God's sake avoid everyone.
He heads off, muttering to himself.
Arturo
This blasted world is a nightmare.
Arturo and Wade sit on their beds, each absorbed in their phones.
Arturo
Good heavens. This pandemic began during the presidency of one Donald Trump.
Wade
That explains all the memes I'm seeing with him in 'em...
Arturo
What kind of off-the-wall nonsense world is this, anyway?
Wade
I don't know, but it seems like half the country's gone a little nutso.
That lady in the park - she was spouting the same stuff as I keep encountering on social media. It's like instead of causing panic as you might expect from a deadly pandemic, it caused some kind of mass denial.
That's why it spread uncontrolled.
(beat)
And despite all the dead, and the ones that survived having all kinds of health problems, they seem to be largely pretending it's not even happening.
Arturo
While I'd like to think that wouldn't happen on the Earth where I live, who knows? Some people prefer convenient lies to inconvenient truths.
Wade
And get this. I looked up all our names.
She holds her phone out so that Arturo can see it. On the screen is a promotional still of the show Sliders, complete with the original four cast members.
Arturo
What the devil?!
Wade
We're characters in a TV show here, just like the world where Maggie and Mallory live. How does this keep happening?!
Arturo
Perhaps there was a Seer on this world too?
Wade
I don't know, but I gotta see this show.
Arturo
Well, we have two weeks here, at minimum. Plenty of time, if you can get a hold of it.
Wade
The woman in the park who recognised Quinn; she thought he was an actor called Jerry O'Connell. My double is named Sabrina Lloyd, Remy's is Cleavant Derricks, and yours is John Rhys-Davies. They're all actors of varying levels of fame. Yours and Quinn's seem to be the most prolific.
(glancing at phone)
Wait, Colin was played by Jerry's real brother, Charlie O'Connell!
Arturo
Just a moment, I heard that every one of Colin's doubles was meant to have died when he was Unstuck?
Wade
I don't know about any of that, but he's sure not dead here.
Arturo
This world is truly stranger than fiction.
Rembrandt and Quinn sit on stools overlooking their inflatable mattresses covered with blankets, looking extremely bored.
Rembrandt
She coulda set up a TV at least.
Quinn
She had a half hour. I think she did alright.
Quinn glances around the room at all the shiny toys.
Quinn
I got plenty to occupy me. You've got your phone, right?
Rembrandt
Yeah. Can't wait to have the mother of all cricks in my neck in a few days.
There's a sudden beeping, and Rembrandt follows the noise to the comms device.
He presses a button to stop the noise, and looks at it.
Rembrandt
Oh good, they've sent through a list of symptoms to look out for.
Quinn
Let's hear it.
Rembrandt
Loss of, or change in, smell and/or taste. Headache. Sore throat. Fever, chills. Dry cough. Phlegmy cough - really, both? Body pains. Congestion. Shortness of breath. Brain fog and confusion.
Quinn
Oh, great, just what I need after half of me spending twenty years in a brain fog.
Rembrandt
Oh, I'm not done. Diarrhoea. Rashes, discolouration of the digits, red eyes, chest pain, loss of speech or mobility.
Quinn
Jeez.
Rembrandt
We might be in for a ride, huh?
(reading on)
Says that the symptoms vary wildly, it could be any combination of them, but the most common are your classic flu symptoms -- just worse, and with potential for long term illness after recovery. That brain fog is the most common symptom of what they're calling "Long Covid."
Quinn
I'm really worried about the Professor.
Rembrandt
Me too, Q-ball. Me too. But if he does get sick, he's in the best place to be treated, right? They're experienced with it there.
Quinn
Yeah. You're right.
A knock at the small window at ground level. The two look up, and Diana is leaving a tray of food there for them.
Rembrandt
Kind of feels like being in prison with the food slot here, huh?
He opens the window more than the small crack previously, and pulls through the tray. On it is a couple of bag lunches with a note.
Quinn grabs the note and reads.
Quinn
(reading aloud)
Place the tray out for eight, one and six. I'm afraid it'll have to be all disposables, since we don't want to risk your used plates and cutlery. Sorry. Diana.
(looking up, smirking)
Prison, you say?
Rembrandt lifts up one of the bags and finds another note.
Rembrandt
Looks like this one's just for you, Momma's Boy.
Quinn takes it, and smiles.
Note: Take care of yourself Quinn. Text me every day. Love Mom xx
Quinn
What can I say? That's an accurate characterisation.
Arturo and Wade seem not to have moved at all since we last saw them, but now their hair is more messy, and they look more disheveled - it's clearly been a few days now.
Wade
I tracked down a streamable link for the show. Wanna watch?
Arturo
Miss Welles, I couldn't think of anything I'd rather do less.
Wade giggles.
Wade
Well, I don't have headphones so you may have no choice.
Arturo
(deadpan)
O joyous day.
He sniffs. We see that his forehead is a little more moist than usual.
Wade
Professor, are you feeling normal?
Arturo
(uncertain)
I feel fine - I think. But I'm not going to deny it if I begin to deteriorate. We'll have to see what the next twenty-four hours hold in store.
Wade glances down at her phone.
Wade
Oh no, news of our run-in with that weirdo are starting to spread.
Arturo
(sighing)
Yes, I did see someone filming with their phone.
Wade
It's only on niche sites so far- people think it's a publicity stunt for a reunion of the show. Though when they asked Jerry and John for comment, they said it must be something called a "deepfake." I don't know what that is, but it hasn't quelled the speculation.
Arturo
Just what we need.
Wade
Hey, as long as they're asking them rather than us.
A knock comes on the hotel room door.
Wade dons her mask and hurries over. She opens it to a tray of food placed on the floor.
The room service worker who left it is hurrying further down the hall. They look back briefly, and they're wearing a mask.
Wade
(picking up the tray)
Lunch is on.
She places it on the table as Arturo continues their conversation.
Arturo
Well, while you were reading scurrilous gossip, my research brought me the news that there is yet another virus on the horizon in this country called "Monkeypox."
(wiping his brow)
The sooner we can vacate this hellish world, the better, I say.
Quinn hunches over some electronics, screwing in a circuit board.
Rembrandt paces the room, clearly suffering from boredom.
Rembrandt
What are you workin' on now, Q-ball?
Quinn
New timer. Might as well make the most of the downtime, right?
Rembrandt
Yeah, easy for you to say when we're in egghead paradise down here. I got nothing.
Quinn
Aren't you a singer? Serenade me.
Rembrandt
"The caged bird sings," huh?
Remy thinks for a moment, before starting to belt out the old African American song "Swing Low Sweet Chariot."
Rembrandt
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Comin' for to carry me home...
Quinn looks up at him with some concern at his sorrowful choice of song, but enjoys the performance all the same.
The room is dark, it's clearly late. The two sliders lie in bed, sleeping.
That is, until Arturo coughs. It's a nasty, raw cough.
Arturo sits up, turning on his lamp, continuing to cough several more times. His face is flushed, and hair drenched.
Wade stirs.
Wade
Uhn... Professor, not to state the obvious, but I think you have Covid.
Arturo
Yes, thank you for your --
(cough)
-- invaluable assessment, Miss Welles.
Wade
(disappointed, and anxious)
Guess we're in it for the long haul now.
Quinn and Rembrandt are both going stir-crazy now. They have a deck of cards out and are playing a very uninspired game of Go Fish.
Rembrandt
(monotone)
Got any threes?
Quinn
(monotone)
Go fish.
Rembrandt picks up a card from the deck, but his ability to care about this game collapses before our eyes.
He puts down his cards.
Rembrandt
This blows.
Quinn
We could play blackjack.
Rembrandt
Against a card counter? What kind of fool do you take me for?
Silence.
Quinn puts his cards down too.
Rembrandt
You really exhausted everything you can do down here?
Quinn nods.
Quinn
Built a new timer, upgraded Diana's field generator - not that the thing's of much use now, improved the latency of the comms, did diagnostics on the Professor's equipment... I'm out of spare parts and there's nothing left to upgrade anyway.
Rembrandt
And you did all that in five days?
Quinn
My propensity to work quickly is normally a blessing.
Rembrandt
Well Q-ball, welcome to my boredom.
They sit there in silence for an uncomfortable length of time.
Cut to:
Immediately, we launch into Arturo coughing. It's a nasty hacking cough punctuated by gasps for air.
Wade places a moist towel on his forehead.
Wade
Professor, you're in a really bad way. Might be time to take you to a hospital.
Arturo, unable to speak due to his coughing fit, merely nods in compliance.
Wade herself is now showing early signs of the virus, with her skin looking pallid.
She clears her throat and grabs the phone.
A masked Wade watches the masked Arturo being whisked away into the ward, as she stands by a Nurse behind a desk - the nurse is decked out in full PPE.
Nurse
Has he had his four vaccines?
Wade
I'm sorry, he hasn't been vaccinated.
The nurse sighs deeply.
Nurse
He's had ample time - he an antivaxer?
Wade
No, and I can't explain why but he actually didn't have the opportunity before he got exposed.
Nurse
(sceptical)
Sure thing. Look, I can't sugar-coat this. I've seen a lot of unvaccinated people in his state, and it can go either way.
Wade looks crestfallen.
Nurse
We're gonna treat him with some oxygen, and if he deteriorates, he may need to go on a ventilator. If that time comes...
(leaning their elbows on the desk)
We set up a video call to say goodbye, in case he doesn't wake up from the induced coma.
Wade's eyes glisten.
Nurse
Pray that it doesn't come to that, but if the time comes, make sure his affairs are in order.
The nurse gives Wade a stack of home tests and a pulse oximeter.
Nurse
Take these back with you and monitor your symptoms. If your blood oxygen dips below ninety per cent, call us. And use these tests once you start feeling better. Isolate 'til you come up negative.
Wade
Thank you.
Nurse
We'll stay in touch, okay?
Wade nods, and turns away.
Quinn is fast asleep on his air mattress. Rembrandt stares up at the ceiling, absolutely jonesing for dopamine.
He stands up, and inspects the window to see if he can squeeze through.
Rembrandt shimmies through the window with difficulty, but manages to pull himself out of the basement.
Rembrandt
(to self)
Twelve days is long enough, right?
He disappears into the night.
Quinn is awoken by the comms device beeping. He looks at it.
Quinn
(under breath)
Oh, no.
He flips over to wake Rembrandt.
Quinn
Remy, they're putting the Professor on a v--
He finds himself patting an empty mattress.
Quinn
Remy...?
Rembrandt enters the largely unpopulated diner, checking his pockets for cash.
He greets the waitress behind the counter.
Rembrandt
Hey there, just a bowl of fries, thanks.
The woman nods. Rembrandt takes a seat.
In his pocket, his phone begins to ring.
Rembrandt
Damn.
He takes out the phone and answers.
Rembrandt
Hey Quinn.
(beat)
Look man, I'm sorry but it's almost two weeks and I couldn't stand another second in that damned basement, man. I feel fine. I've felt fine the whole time.
The waitress places the bowl of fries on the table in front of him.
Rembrandt
I'm just getting some grub--
(looking up at the waitress)
-- Thank you --
(looking back down)
-- No, I've only gone near one person. I didn't go to some club or some nonsense, I'm not that dumb.
He places a fry into his mouth, and chews.
His eyes widen.
Rembrandt
(awkward, into phone)
Uh, so...
I'm gonna come back now. I can't taste these fries.
He drops his money by the bowl, and dashes for the door.
Arturo sits in his hospital bed, with an oxygen mask. His breathing is laboured.
He holds up a phone, through which he can see Wade.
Arturo
Wade, if I don't --
(wheeze)
-- survive, tell Amanda --
(cough)
-- I'm sorry, and I love her.
(wheeze)
And tell Quinn --
(gasp)
-- he's the best stepson I could imagine.
Wade looks at the Professor's sorry state in her phone, just barely holding back her tears.
She nods at him.
Wade
I will, Professor.
She coughs a few times.
Wade
Promise me it won't come to that, okay?
The Professor nods.
The phone is taken from him, and a nurse looks into the phone.
Nurse
(through phone)
You take care, Ma'am. We'll keep you informed. But I'm afraid it's time to hook him up.
Wade nods.
Wade
You do whatever you can for him, okay?
Nurse
(maudlin)
We will. We always do.
The phone hangs up, and Wade begins to bawl her eyes out.
Her phone switches back to the "Sliders" video she'd been watching. It's paused on a moment from "Fever" where the Professor is starting to display symptoms of the infection, but continues working on the cure all the same.
She puts the phone down, unable to keep watching for now - just openly weeping into the empty hotel room, Arturo's bed still unmade.
Quinn paces, running hands through his hair, beside himself with anxiety.
Finally, he hears a tap on the window. He stops, and looks over to find Rembrandt peering in.
Rembrandt
Hey Q-ball. I'm so sorry. I really thought we were in the clear, you know?
Quinn
(frantic)
Listen, I'm not sure what to do here. You might have exposed people to a deadly virus in a world that doesn't know about it. Who can we call for that kind of thing?!
Rembrandt
Maybe we just have to tell that diner what's happening?
Quinn
You'd better think of a convincing lie, man. Because if this thing gets out...
Rembrandt
I'll be Typhoid Remy all over again. I get it.
Rembrandt pulls out his phone.
The waitress mops the floor as the phone on the wall rings.
She turns, and answers it.
Waitress
Hello?
(beat)
Oh, hey there. You left in a hurry. My food no good? You left a full bowl.
We see that she's grazing on the bowl of fries that he left behind.
As she listens to him, she looks down at the bowl, suddenly very concerned.
Waitress
You're kidding me...
(beat)
How contagious?
In a panic, she throws the fries into the trash.
Waitress
Look, I can't afford to take two weeks off...
(beat)
You'll pay me how much?!
(sceptical)
Okay... I mean, if this isn't all a great big joke, then sure...
Fade to black
Gentle light filters in the window.
Arturo lies in his hospital bed, face covered with a BIPAP mask. His eyes flutter open.
Cut to Black.