“W-wait… no!”
Sam clung onto the edge of the sink for dear life, gripped by a spine-tingling chill as the ghost of his past phased into his body. As the action was completed, a wave of nausea passed over him and his head flooded with what seemed like television static; slivers of images and thoughts overlapped and flickered. For a moment, he was lost in the barrage.
Stop! Don’t…
—don’t panic…
???
—no, it’s too late for that—
…!
calm down…
but I—
—why?
because…
Sam couldn’t make sense of his own thoughts, and he slumped to the floor as he tried to figure out what was happening. A chaotic mixture of thoughts, images and feelings passed through his mind in waves, and he couldn’t seem to distinguish which were his and which were the other Sam.
Other?
There’s really only one me—
—the only separation is… time…?
…are both the same?
No, not exactly…
“Sam!” Katie’s voice cut through the cascade of thoughts. “What’s happening?”
Differences in…
…perspective…?
“Uh…” Sam mumbled, his hands finding the cool stone floor, “I think I need to ride this out.”
He peered up at her through his one functioning eye. “Stay with me, okay?”
“Okay, Sammy,” she replied, watching him helplessly.
Unable to continue looking at her, Sam squeezed his eyes shut. He could now almost comprehend what was happening, but he felt paralysed as to how to react to it; like he hadn’t decided, even though he was sure he had made up his mind a moment ago.
It felt like he was in a lab learning about fluid dynamics, but he was the experiment, demonstrating the inseparable blending of two identical fluids. And although the molecules came from different places, they were no longer distinguishable from one another, because they were reducible to atoms with identical properties. But, he had to wait for the turbulence to subside before he could accurately measure the new volume.
It was as though he was both nineteen and forty-six, both alive and dead, both student and leaper.
His quantum theories of time raced through his mind, fractured and disjointed, giving him an epiphany one second, and complete incomprehension the next.
…perspective… there’s only one perspective now, because—
I’m present in one time, one space, one mind… and yet—
He leaned forward, his breath heavy, but his panic was beginning to transform into something new.
—a lot changed in twenty-seven years…
Everything builds on what came before.
…and when you ball up the string, two moments in time touch one another…
Like a beam of sunlight through parted storm clouds, a moment of profound clarity hit Sam, and he saw the path forward.
Oh.
And then the clarity became rapidly clouded with the physical limitations of his deteriorating brain, and Sam opened his eyes with a gasp.
“Sam, what’s happening to you?!” Katie was crouching beside him now, her hands poised over him. “Do you need a doctor?”
Sam turned to her, eyes wide. “No… no, I’m… okay.” He held out a hand to her. “Could you help me up…?”
She took his hand. “You’re really okay? Was that some kind of fit, or—?”
“Is that what it looked like?” Sam reached his other hand to the sink, and, with Katie’s assistance, he climbed to his feet. “It was a little different to—”
He caught his reflection in the mirror, and let out a breath as he assessed the face of the woman reflected back. Although he knew he’d been seeing this face for days, it somehow inspired wonder.
“Far out…” he said under his breath, and reached out a trembling hand to touch the mirror.
It occurred to him that a kind of bridge had been built between his teenage self and middle-aged self.
No, not a bridge, more like… a knot.
Although he knew he’d been leaping for years, the experience of it was simultaneously new to him, and it was like experiencing it for the first time.
Did I just say ‘far out?’ I haven’t said that since— how long has it been? Years or days?
A smile crept across his lips as he realised how absurd this was.
Katie was staring at him nervously. “Are you okay? Do you remember who I am?”
“Of course I do, Katie.” Sam ran the faucet, splashing cold water on his face before catching her eye in the mirror. “I’m just… seeing everything with fresh eyes.”
So to speak, he thought, noting that his left eye still had no visual input.
“But what was that, Sammy?” Katie spoke with a tremor, and he could tell he’d deeply shaken her with this.
“I’m okay, I promise.” Sam reached out, taking her by the arm. “Listen, remember when you thought I was a ghost?”
“Sure…”
Sam chuckled, wrapping his arm over her shoulder. “If I can manage to put it into words, I’ll explain on the way. Let’s go.”
“Wait, where are we going?”
“I need to go see… me.”